I am very excited to attend a Secret Keeper Girl event next month with my daughter, and some of her friends and their moms! I have been hoping and praying that it would come to my area.
Secret Keeper Girl Florida
Sunday, January 22, 2012
My Precious Rosebud
Hello moms (or dads)! My little ezer is still thoroughly enjoying her PureNRG music. Here is a recent video of her singing one of her favorite songs from the group:
Hearing my daughter sing this song has blessed me over and over again; and I pray this will indeed be her life's goal: to live her life for God!
The other night, as my daughter was going to bed, she came to me and said, "I didn't give you a goodnight hug yet". She wrapped her arms around me tightly and exclaimed, "I love you soooo much. I love you more than anything". Naturally, these words blessed my heart, especially since such words were not the norm for her to utter. Usually, when I say, "I love you" to her, I receive no response. What spurred my girl to speak so from her heart, I wondered. Was it the other day when she was feeling sick and I devotedly cared for her needs? Did she feel my love for her more than usual that day? The Word says that we love God because He first loved us. Don't our children likewise love us because we first loved them? Or could it be that she is responding to my excitement over the "special time" that I am planning with her soon? I have been telling her that next month, she and I are going to do some very special things together, but it is all a surprise. I have refused to even give her any hints. But I have been oh so excited! Perhaps her sweet heart is responding to her mother's joy over our coming time together:)
Whatever is causing such closeness in our relationship as of late, oh how I want it to stay! I want my daughter to look to me as her best friend. Yes, I'm her mother, and must set boundaries, enforce discipline and expect respect. But I'm also her confidant. After God, I think a mother should be a daughter's most intimate ally as she blossoms into womanhood. Lord, let it be!
Hearing my daughter sing this song has blessed me over and over again; and I pray this will indeed be her life's goal: to live her life for God!
The other night, as my daughter was going to bed, she came to me and said, "I didn't give you a goodnight hug yet". She wrapped her arms around me tightly and exclaimed, "I love you soooo much. I love you more than anything". Naturally, these words blessed my heart, especially since such words were not the norm for her to utter. Usually, when I say, "I love you" to her, I receive no response. What spurred my girl to speak so from her heart, I wondered. Was it the other day when she was feeling sick and I devotedly cared for her needs? Did she feel my love for her more than usual that day? The Word says that we love God because He first loved us. Don't our children likewise love us because we first loved them? Or could it be that she is responding to my excitement over the "special time" that I am planning with her soon? I have been telling her that next month, she and I are going to do some very special things together, but it is all a surprise. I have refused to even give her any hints. But I have been oh so excited! Perhaps her sweet heart is responding to her mother's joy over our coming time together:)
Whatever is causing such closeness in our relationship as of late, oh how I want it to stay! I want my daughter to look to me as her best friend. Yes, I'm her mother, and must set boundaries, enforce discipline and expect respect. But I'm also her confidant. After God, I think a mother should be a daughter's most intimate ally as she blossoms into womanhood. Lord, let it be!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Wholesome Dolls for Tweens
First, which doll should your tween definitely not play with? These:
Can you tell why?
The APA singled out Bratz dolls as harmful in it's 2007 report on the sexualization of girls. That should be enough said. But to make it clear, when girls play with these dolls, they tend to take on more sexual roles as opposed to wholesome and creative role play. Do not buy these dolls for your daughters!
So what should we give our girls? Well, there are several choices. My favorite dolls are those from the Only Hearts Club:
These dolls are SO awesome! They are beautiful and fashionable, but pure, like our daughters. They have poseable bodies and hair I'd do almost anything for (hehe)! My daughter has several of them, and I think she'll be getting some more for Christmas.
On their website, it says, "Cool, real-looking, wholesome fashion dolls that deliver a positive image and message to girls" and "Great, Age-Appropriate Fashions: Each dolls' clothing is cool and wholesome, and features the latest fashion trends and styles for girls." I love it!
The site also sells beautiful, poseable horses and adorable pets. They even have several books! Here is a really great video explaining the dolls:
After the Only Hearts dolls, I'd say the next best choice are the American Girl dolls (or other 18" dolls that are similar to them- see links in sidebar).
My daughter does not yet have an official "American Girl" doll but she does have one of the similar ones from Wal-Mart. She loves that doll and wants more of these type of dolls. I think it is awesome that they have all those wonderful books to go along with the dolls! Of course there are also the movies and the magazine. So much to explore and enjoy!
There is a fun site I recently found: American Girl Fan. These dolls grow with our girls! They don't need to "grow up" so soon and abandon owning and enjoying their dolls, even if the way they enjoy them changes as they grow.
The last doll I'll mention in this post are the Groovy Girls dolls. The website says of the dolls: "Groovy Girls® is a one-of-a kind line of dolls and accessories that reflect and appeal to a girl’s sense of fashion and style as well as her many interests. Each Groovy Girls character has a unique, one of a kind look expressed in her hairstyle, skin tone and hip outfit — just like girls in real life! This fabulous collection encourages the every little girl’s sense of self-identity and individualism, celebrates friendship and diversity and validates the fact that girls are important in the world. ".
Honestly, I don't love these dolls as much purely for aesthetic reasons. I just don't think they're as lovely to look at. But they are cute and wholesome and tweens probably don't care as much about aesthetics as I do LOL. I do think they are a wonderful choice. Here's a cute commercial (with a fun song I must say) for you to enjoy:
With all the wonderful, wholesome and fun choices available for your daughters, why would you ever give them a Bratz doll? (In fact these dolls are even preferable over Barbies).
Can you tell why?
The APA singled out Bratz dolls as harmful in it's 2007 report on the sexualization of girls. That should be enough said. But to make it clear, when girls play with these dolls, they tend to take on more sexual roles as opposed to wholesome and creative role play. Do not buy these dolls for your daughters!
So what should we give our girls? Well, there are several choices. My favorite dolls are those from the Only Hearts Club:
On their website, it says, "Cool, real-looking, wholesome fashion dolls that deliver a positive image and message to girls" and "Great, Age-Appropriate Fashions: Each dolls' clothing is cool and wholesome, and features the latest fashion trends and styles for girls." I love it!
The site also sells beautiful, poseable horses and adorable pets. They even have several books! Here is a really great video explaining the dolls:
After the Only Hearts dolls, I'd say the next best choice are the American Girl dolls (or other 18" dolls that are similar to them- see links in sidebar).
There is a fun site I recently found: American Girl Fan. These dolls grow with our girls! They don't need to "grow up" so soon and abandon owning and enjoying their dolls, even if the way they enjoy them changes as they grow.
The last doll I'll mention in this post are the Groovy Girls dolls. The website says of the dolls: "Groovy Girls® is a one-of-a kind line of dolls and accessories that reflect and appeal to a girl’s sense of fashion and style as well as her many interests. Each Groovy Girls character has a unique, one of a kind look expressed in her hairstyle, skin tone and hip outfit — just like girls in real life! This fabulous collection encourages the every little girl’s sense of self-identity and individualism, celebrates friendship and diversity and validates the fact that girls are important in the world. ".
With all the wonderful, wholesome and fun choices available for your daughters, why would you ever give them a Bratz doll? (In fact these dolls are even preferable over Barbies).
Purenrg
If you have never heard of Purenrg, be introduced to them now. This group has been likened to a Christian version of Hannah Montana. I felt the Holy Spirit lead me to purchase some of this music for my daughter for her 9th birthday and she is absolutely LOVING the songs! Most of them are upbeat, which is currently her preference, and all of the songs are uplifting and wholesome. Absolutely GREAT music for tweens- both girls and boys. My daughter has been listening to the songs on her new mp3 player, and singing away! Look to the sidebar to see a couple videos of some of her favorite songs.
Listen to some of these lyrics:
From the song "Pray":
On my knees flying
Through the blue sky
Miles away
I see clearly
Every single time
I close my eyes and
Pray
"Girls Can Change the World"
I think it's time that we turn some things around
We gotta stop trying to tear each other down
If we shine, if we share the love we found
Girls can change the world
"Here We Go Again"
It happens everywhere I go
I find something that lets me know
Lord you're always up to something new
I'm still surprised by you
I'm ready to be amazed
Here we go, here we go
It's a brand new day
And I sing cause I know
That you'll lead my way
Life is good in a world
Where your wonder never ends
So here we go again
I think your tween daughter will love Purenrg as much as mine does!
BTW, this is the mp3 player we purchased for her birthday, great price and just right for a young girl:
Friday, August 12, 2011
Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl
I just finished this gem of a book a few days ago. It's a great resource of ideas and encouragement for WAVE mothers of 8-12 year olds. Notice the title? "Keep" the little in your girl...that means to protect and guard that part of her. Read my first post here if you haven't yet: What is a WAVE Mother? What is an Ezer?
Founder of Moms in Touch International, Fern Nichols, wrote about the book, "We must support one another, and Dannah issues a joint battle cry! She cries out along with me, "Satan, you cannot have our girls!" Dannah Gresh herself, the author of this treasure, wrote, "In this book, I hope to encourage you in the act of re-stacking your claim in your daughter so she can grow up to be a strong, whole, pure and healthy teen girl".
After reading this book, you will have an understanding of the brain development of tween girls, and just how important it is to form their values on the issues of modesty, boys, sex, etc before they become teenagers. The tween years are the value formation years. This is when values will be set in a girl's brain; values she will act on as a teen. It is vital that we connect with our daughters in order to pass on healthy values. Dannah has included a connection IQ quiz as a tool for mothers to become aware of where their relationship with their daughters stand. The quiz opened my eyes to some ways I can better connect with my daughter and inspired me to take action. In another post, I will list some ideas for mother/daughter dates that I have gleaned from searching the internet.
I love this quote from Dannah: "So the question for you now - in her tweens - is not "Should I talk to her about boys, and sex, and periods, and other stuff that scares me silly?" The question is "How do I talk to her about boys, and sex, and periods, and other stuff that scares me silly?" without robbing her of her innocence?" What a great point Dannah makes! I think that is what many mothers are afraid of: that if we raise these issues with our daughters too early, we will rob them of that girlhood innocence. Well, rest assured, Dannah does a fantastic job of providing you with ideas and words that are gentle, but do the job.
You will learn about the importance of role play even during the tween years. Has your daughter seemed to lose interest in such creative play? Dannah shares three ideas on how to encourage her to play roles in unconventional ways. Such play is directly linked to that value formation that is vital at this time in her life. Wonderful information on the selection of age-appropriate, wholesome dolls is shared, along with which dolls have been proven to be harmful to tween girls and why!
There is a chapter that discusses how to approach the topic of menstruation with your daughter; here you will find ideas on stories you can share with her, scriptures to use, a special basket you may want to put together, and a specific DVD is recommended. Other chapters provide information on protecting your tween girl from negative media effects that can rob her of innocence, ways to make your daughter's inner beauty her focus, and fun activities you can do to form her values on modesty. Dannah includes ideas to help mothers better know the friends their daughters are spending time with, shift a girl's focus away from boys to her future husband, and even some dating suggestions (for when she is older of course!)
The part that I actually found the most shocking - and encouraging - was when Dannah wrote about discussing sex with girls this young. Honestly, I knew that I would bring up the topic of menstruation soon, but I hadn't thought much about telling my girl about sex. I guess I figured that could wait till she's 13 or so! But Dannah encourages mothers to discuss said issue with their daughters by the time they are 9, and she explains why. She actually suggests specific words to say, and I think I have found those words to be the most inspiring and confidence building advice from all the great thoughts in this book! The words are gentle and beautiful, but direct and honest. What a gem:)
I am so glad that I read this book. I am excited to read more books from Dannah Gresh in the next few months, books that provide ideas and resources for dates and devotionals with my daughter. After reading Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl, I feel much more confident to walk this journey with my daughter in a beautiful, fun and connecting way!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The Time is Now
My firstborn just turned nine. Before her birthday, she said some things that opened my eyes to see just where she is in her girlhood.
First, she told me that she did not want many toys for her birthday because she plays with them and then gets bored with them. The only "toys" she requested was clothing for her American Girl doll look-alike (a cheaper doll from Wal-Mart). Other than that, she asked for blue nail polish, a hand held mirror and perfume! My daughter is definitely a "tween" now: beginning to find interests in all those feminine delights, while still not too old to play with her dolls. Beautiful.
The next day my daughter said something that honestly shocked me: "Well, I'm not pretty enough to be on the cover of one of those magazines" in reference to her American Girl magazines. What!? First off, my precious girl is quite beautiful. Second, we had always told her so. It baffled my mind. Furthermore, my daughter is homeschooled and so is shielded from much of the peer pressure girls experience at school. Yet...no young girl can escape the effects of our culture.
The day after she spoke these words to me, I came across the following video:
The video ends with the admonishment to "talk to your daughter before the beauty industry does".
Yup, it's time for me to become proactive in steering my daughter through what is beginning, to hold her hand and her heart. I'm ready.
First, she told me that she did not want many toys for her birthday because she plays with them and then gets bored with them. The only "toys" she requested was clothing for her American Girl doll look-alike (a cheaper doll from Wal-Mart). Other than that, she asked for blue nail polish, a hand held mirror and perfume! My daughter is definitely a "tween" now: beginning to find interests in all those feminine delights, while still not too old to play with her dolls. Beautiful.
The next day my daughter said something that honestly shocked me: "Well, I'm not pretty enough to be on the cover of one of those magazines" in reference to her American Girl magazines. What!? First off, my precious girl is quite beautiful. Second, we had always told her so. It baffled my mind. Furthermore, my daughter is homeschooled and so is shielded from much of the peer pressure girls experience at school. Yet...no young girl can escape the effects of our culture.
The day after she spoke these words to me, I came across the following video:
The video ends with the admonishment to "talk to your daughter before the beauty industry does".
Yup, it's time for me to become proactive in steering my daughter through what is beginning, to hold her hand and her heart. I'm ready.
What is a WAVE mother? What is an Ezer?
This blog is for all my fellow WAVE mothers who are raising girls of the tween and teen ages. What do I mean by WAVE mothers? Are you a WAVE mom?
WAVE mother is a term I have coined to express the role we moms are called to play in our childrens' lives. It is based on those Bible scriptures which pertain to women that many of us know well: Proverbs 31, Titus 2, Genesis 2 and Psalm 127. Through these powerful words from God's heart, we learn that as mothers we are to be Helpers, Virtuous Women, and Keepers at Home. But what we may not realize is the real meaning of those scriptures. All of them place moms directly in the line of battle.
The Hebrew word for "Helper" in Genesis 2 is "Ezer". All females are created to be ezers, not just married women. (Thus our daughters are ezers). We will study this word below, and you will realize that it is a warring word. Likewise, the Hebrew word for "virtuous" does not mean what we think it does. When the KJV was written, virtue meant might and power, not moral character. Below you will see why virtuous is also a warring word. In the same way, Keepers at Home is not referring to cooking, cleaning, and other household tasks. To keep is yet another military term, which will also be proven. Lastly, the warring images continue with the Psalm 127 analogy of children being like arrows in the hand of a mighty warrior.
Thus, the term WAVE stands for:
Watchwomen (i.e. keepers at home)
Arrows (our children)
Valiant or Valor (i.e. virtuous)
Ezer (Hebrew word for helper)
Come explore these scriptures with me and be prepared to change the way you look at them forever!
1) W is for Watchwomen:
Titus 2:5 admonishes mothers to be keepers at home. The Greek word used in that verse is "oikourgos", which is a combination of "oikos" (meaning house/family) and "ouros" (which means a guard, be "ware"). Thus the word translated as "keepers at home" biblically has nothing to do with being a homemaker the way we think of it today. It literally means the person guarding the home and family. That is what we get when we break down keepers at home.
A keeper is someone who guards. This definition is consistent with the rest of scripture. 1 Timothy 1:5 says that we are kept by the power of God. The word translated "kept" there means: to guard, protect by a military guard; to protect by guarding, to keep; by watching and guarding to preserve one...Do you see the connection? My Bible says that "keep" is a military term picturing a sentry standing guard as protection against the enemy.
The definition above used the word "watching" to further explain what it means to keep. The OT also speaks of a mother's calling to "watch" her family. Proverbs 31:27 says that we are to watch over the ways of our household. The word for "watch" here - tsaphah - means to look out or about, spy, keep watch. It is the very word used to describe watchmen on the tower- those whose job it was to look out for the approaching enemy and sound an alarm. Thus, we are called to be watchwomen. No, most of us are not positioned atop a castle tower in body, but spiritually we are. The NT is filled with admonishments "to watch" (such as in 1 Peter 5:8).
Proverbs 15:3 says that God's eyes are everywhere, keeping watch over the evil and the good. Mothers, our eyes are to be on our family and keeping watch over our household. Actually, that is how the Message bible translates Proverbs 31:27: "She keeps an eye on everyone in her household..." It is interesting to note that in Dr. Frank Seekin’s book, Hebrew Word Pictures, he shared how the the word “ezer” (helper, the word describing woman in Genesis) is composed of two word pictures in ancient Hebrew: an eye, and a picture of someone with a hatchet representing ‘the enemy’. A literal interpretation means ‘one who sees the enemy’. Women have a certain inner eye with which to watch the ways of their household: intuition.
Just as in Isaiah 21:6 the watchman was told to declare what he sees, so this is our calling. We watch not only with our physical eyes, but our inner eyes, and we see. We see the wiles of the enemy. And so we declare. We may need to speak up or we may need to lift up our voices to God in prayer. Isaiah 52:8 reads, “Thy watchmen shall lift up the voice”. Ezekial 33:6 proclaims, “If the watchman see the sword come, and blow not the trumpet, and the people be not warned…” It is our job to be watchwomen. It is our job to declare what we see. It is our job to lift up our voice. It is our job to blow the trumpet of warning. 1 COR 14:8 says, "If the trumpet does not sound a clear call, who will get ready for battle?"
Genesis 3:24 says that God placed Cherubims at the east of the garden of Eden to “keep” the way of the tree of life. The Hebrew word for keep here is “shamar” and it means “to guard, keep, watch, protect, observe, have charge of.” In fact, “shamar” was also used to describe the man’s calling when he was put in the garden to “keep” it (Genesis 2:15). Men and women both were created to keep/watch/guard the world which we were given dominion of. A woman is no more commanded to clean and care for a home than a man is commanded to become a gardener! That is not what “keep” in “keeper at home” is about. It is about carefully guarding whatever God puts in your charge. It is about ruling the earth, fighting the enemy, and overcoming evil as the warriors we were meant to be. Men and women are to keep the world alongside one another.
That said, women are made in the image of God as females. And as females we are generally more relational and nurturing than men. These feminine attributes, along with womanly intuition, equip watchwomen to successfully guard their families. Cleaning a house, sewing, cooking, and all other household tasks are human work, not women's work. Of course if the father is working full time outside of the home and the mother is a full time stay at home mom, she will be responsible for most of the household tasks. But the point is that women are not commanded to clean and cook in the admonishment to "keep" their homes. They are commanded to watch, guard and protect their families. This is a warring word. We are Watchwomen!
2) A is for Arrows:
Psalm 127:4 says, "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth." Mothers, we are warriors. Romans 12:21 tells us to overcome evil with good. Overcome means conquer and come out victorious. It involves fighting and winning the fight. Furthermore, we are told to fight the good fight of faith (1 Timothy 6:12) and wage the good warfare. (1 Timothy 1:18) Wage means to fight, to be a soldier. 2 Timothy 2:3 confirms that we are to be “good soldiers of Jesus Christ.” Verse 4 goes on to say, “And as Christ’s soldier, do not let yourself become tied up in the affairs of this life, for then you cannot satisfy the one who has enlisted you in His army.” It is the devil that we are fighting. We are told to resist him, or set ourselves against him. He is our adversary, our enemy in this battle. (1 Peter 5:8-9) 2 Corinthians 10:4 says, “We use God’s mighty weapons…to knock down the Devil’s strongholds.” We are to put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:11a), which is the armor of light (Romans 13:12).
The scriptures above show us that mothers are also warriors in God's army. But if this fact is not clear with them alone, we see that God spoke specifically to women in the call to be warriors when He told us to be watchwomen and when He called us ezers and "virtuous" or "valiant" wives (as we will see below). Our children are our arrows. They are part of the battle. You don't fight for your arrows but with them. Children don't need to grow up before they can impact the Kingdom of God.
3) V is for Valor or Valiant:
Proverbs 31:10 speaks of the "virtuous" wife that we all desire to be like. I always took this word to mean good character, but it really means so much more than that. When the KJV of the Bible was written, virtue had a meaning that is no longer common today. We see this in Mark 5:30, where it says that "virtue had gone out of" Jesus when the woman touched him. How can virtue go out of someone? Well, back then virtue meant power and strength. So can we apply the way virtue is used in the NT for the OT word describing a wife? Is she a powerful, strong woman? Well, this is actually very interesting because the Hebrew word translated as virtuous in Prov 31:10 is only translated as such when it refers to a woman (in Proverbs 31, Proverbs 12:4 and Ruth 3:11). The rest of the time, when it refers to one man, it is usually translated as man of valor/power/might/strength or valiant man. So why, when speaking of a woman, is the word virtuous used?
The Septuagint was the Greek translation of the OT Hebrew. It was the Bible of the early Christians. In it, Ruth 3:11 is translated as "Thou art a woman of power". Today, the Douay-Rheims Bible translates Proverbs 31:10 as "Who shall find a valiant woman? far and from the uttermost coasts is the price of her." Furthermore, there is a Hebrew song about this woman in proverbs 31, called "Woman of Valor". Wikipedia says that, "Traditionally it has been translated "virtuous" or "noble." Some scholars have suggested that it rather means "forceful," "mighty," or "valiant" because the use of the word in the Tanakh is almost exclusively used regarding warfare."
The Hebrew word translated as "virtuous" was translated as "army" 56 out of 243 times (it was translated as man of valor 37 times, host 29 times, forces 14 times, valiant 13 times, etc...including the usage of the words power and might). So is there any further proof that its' meaning in Proverbs 31 is more than just noble? Indeed, the rest of the chapter is alive with military language.
Barabara J. Yoder wrote in her book God’s Bold Call To Women, "Did you know that the word “virtuous” spoken of in Proverbs 31:10 is a warring word? The virtuous woman is a warrior woman. She is strong, able, forceful and powerful; she is one who is willing to go to battle. In the Hebrew language, the word “virtuous” actually pictures her as one single woman coming with the strength of an army." After stating that this woman of valor, this strong, powerful and valiant woman is worth much more than rubies, verse 11 continues the military imagery through the use of the word spoil: "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil." What is spoil? Those were the riches gained through war! Yes, war!!! She is a valiant woman who is spiritually as strong as an army, after all. Then verse 12 says, "She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." His wife is his ally in this war. They fight alongside one another.
Verse 17 says that this woman of valor "girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms." The word for arms here does not merely mean physical arms. One meaning is "forces (political and military)." Even more profound is the meaning of strengthen. What does it mean to strengthen your arms? Is it working out and strength training? Well, to strengthen means "to be strong, alert, courageous, brave, stout, bold..." and "to be determined, to make oneself alert". Yes, a soldier in God's army needs to be courageous and brave and bold. And a watchwomen needs to be alert in order to properly watch, or guard her family.
Proverbs 31:21 calls a woman of valor fearless. And verse 25 says that strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in the time to come. The word for rejoice actually carries the idea of laughing mockingly. Who is the recipient of this mocking do you think? Of course the devil! She laughs because she has victory (that's why her husband has no lack of spoil- they won the war and so won all the booty of it). Go ahead and laugh at Satan. He has already lost. Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!
4) E is for Ezer:
At the dawn of creation, God said that it was not good for man to be alone. He knew that man needed a helper, and this is where woman came in: as the helper. What does this mean to women today? Are women created to be assistants to men as they battle and subdue and rule? The Hebrew word for help in Genesis 2:18 and 20 is “ezer”. It is used 21 times in the Old Testament. Twice for the woman, three times regarding military allies and 16 times speaking of God as our helper. Yes, GOD is a helper. Surely He does not play the part of an assistant when He helps us. Nor are military allies mere assistants. Therefore, we can conclude that when the same word is used to describe a woman, the help she brings is vital, warring type help, not assisting help. Furthermore, every time ezer is used in reference to God’s help to us, it is used within the context of fighting and enemies, surrounded by words such as deliver, save, shield, rescue, protect and enemy.
Listen to what Carolyn Custis James wrote in her book When Life and Beliefs Collide, "Checking the math, in nineteen of the twenty-one times that ezer appears in the Bible, and in nearly 100 percent of the uses of the verb form, there is an overwhelming military connotation. But for some strange reason, when the same word refers to a woman, we end up talking about making babies, submission, and cleaning house." By helper, God meant that woman would be an ally to man, standing side by side with him, fighting battles and expanding God’s kingdom on earth. Carolyn also wrote, "Earth has always been a war zone. Even before people inhabited the world, the enemy was on the move. So it makes perfect sense that God used military language to mobilize Eve into action…Adam couldn’t fight these battles alone."
One of the translations of "ezer" is succour, a word that means help in time of difficulty. Taking this into consideration, along with the fact that ezer was used to describe military allies or God Himself in the context of helping by protecting, rescuing, shielding and fighting battles with our enemy, it is clear that the help of an ezer is warring help. All females were created to be ezers, not just wives and mothers. Females were created to subdue and rule the earth alongside males. We are allies. Your daughters are ezers too. Teach them what it means to be an ezer.
I think it is also interesting two ways the word "helper" is used in the NT. First, as we all know, the Holy Spirit is called "the Helper" in the Gospels. Second, Romans 16:2 speaks of Phoebe being a "helper of many". The KJV translates it as a "succourer of many" (remember that word, succour?) The Greek word describing Phoebe here actually means "a woman set over others; female guardian, protectress." I love that: protectress. You are a protectress, mom. You are a female guardian, a watchwoman, a helper! The Amplified translation says of Phoebe, "she has been a helper of many including myself [shielding us from suffering]." There's that word "shield", just as it was used in the OT in the context of how God is our Helper.
So....are you a WAVE mother? Are you watching, guarding and protecting your children? Are you keeping an eye on everyone in your household so that your motherly intuition can aid you in being the "one who sees the enemy"? Are you declaring what you see and lifting up your voice? Are you fighting with your arrows, training them how to oppose the devil? Does your family have no lack of spoil because you walk in the victory Christ won for you? Are you strengthening your arms, becoming more alert, courageous, brave and bold as the years pass? Are you allowing God to transform you into a valiant, powerful woman of valor, fighting spiritual battles with fearless determination? Are you helping your husband shield, protect and rescue your children from the wiles of the enemy?
Are you a Protectress? That's what a Watchwoman is. That's what a Woman of Valor is. That's what an Ezer is.
This blog is devoted to all my fellow WAVE Mothers who are raising ezers of the tween and teen ages; daughters who need their moms to watch them, guard them, protect them, help them and shield them. Our daughters need to look at us and see examples of brave, bold, powerful, and valiant Women of God. They need us to tell them who they are; that God created them to be Ezers. They need us to train them to fight the good fight as the arrows they are.
This transition from girlhood to womanhood is a precious, beautiful time for our daughters. We will hold their hand and walk them through the transformation with full confidence of the women they will be at the end. We rejoice in the time to come because we have the victory! As Fern Nichols wrote about the author in the book Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl, "We must support one another, and Dannah issues a joint battle cry! She cries out along with me, 'Satan, you cannot have our girls!"
I love this drawing called "Queen Susan the Gentle" by Kate Jennings (from the book/movie The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe- a must read/see for your daughters (and sons). Here is a woman who is an Ezer. She is a Woman of Valor. She has her arrows and her horn (she is a Watchwoman who blows the horn when necessary).
"Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning Satan shudders and says, “Oh, No….She’s Awake!”- unknown
WAVE mother is a term I have coined to express the role we moms are called to play in our childrens' lives. It is based on those Bible scriptures which pertain to women that many of us know well: Proverbs 31, Titus 2, Genesis 2 and Psalm 127. Through these powerful words from God's heart, we learn that as mothers we are to be Helpers, Virtuous Women, and Keepers at Home. But what we may not realize is the real meaning of those scriptures. All of them place moms directly in the line of battle.
The Hebrew word for "Helper" in Genesis 2 is "Ezer". All females are created to be ezers, not just married women. (Thus our daughters are ezers). We will study this word below, and you will realize that it is a warring word. Likewise, the Hebrew word for "virtuous" does not mean what we think it does. When the KJV was written, virtue meant might and power, not moral character. Below you will see why virtuous is also a warring word. In the same way, Keepers at Home is not referring to cooking, cleaning, and other household tasks. To keep is yet another military term, which will also be proven. Lastly, the warring images continue with the Psalm 127 analogy of children being like arrows in the hand of a mighty warrior.
Thus, the term WAVE stands for:
Watchwomen (i.e. keepers at home)
Arrows (our children)
Valiant or Valor (i.e. virtuous)
Ezer (Hebrew word for helper)
Come explore these scriptures with me and be prepared to change the way you look at them forever!
1) W is for Watchwomen:
Titus 2:5 admonishes mothers to be keepers at home. The Greek word used in that verse is "oikourgos", which is a combination of "oikos" (meaning house/family) and "ouros" (which means a guard, be "ware"). Thus the word translated as "keepers at home" biblically has nothing to do with being a homemaker the way we think of it today. It literally means the person guarding the home and family. That is what we get when we break down keepers at home.
A keeper is someone who guards. This definition is consistent with the rest of scripture. 1 Timothy 1:5 says that we are kept by the power of God. The word translated "kept" there means: to guard, protect by a military guard; to protect by guarding, to keep; by watching and guarding to preserve one...Do you see the connection? My Bible says that "keep" is a military term picturing a sentry standing guard as protection against the enemy.
The definition above used the word "watching" to further explain what it means to keep. The OT also speaks of a mother's calling to "watch" her family. Proverbs 31:27 says that we are to watch over the ways of our household. The word for "watch" here - tsaphah - means to look out or about, spy, keep watch. It is the very word used to describe watchmen on the tower- those whose job it was to look out for the approaching enemy and sound an alarm. Thus, we are called to be watchwomen. No, most of us are not positioned atop a castle tower in body, but spiritually we are. The NT is filled with admonishments "to watch" (such as in 1 Peter 5:8).
Proverbs 15:3 says that God's eyes are everywhere, keeping watch over the evil and the good. Mothers, our eyes are to be on our family and keeping watch over our household. Actually, that is how the Message bible translates Proverbs 31:27: "She keeps an eye on everyone in her household..." It is interesting to note that in Dr. Frank Seekin’s book, Hebrew Word Pictures, he shared how the the word “ezer” (helper, the word describing woman in Genesis) is composed of two word pictures in ancient Hebrew: an eye, and a picture of someone with a hatchet representing ‘the enemy’. A literal interpretation means ‘one who sees the enemy’. Women have a certain inner eye with which to watch the ways of their household: intuition.
Just as in Isaiah 21:6 the watchman was told to declare what he sees, so this is our calling. We watch not only with our physical eyes, but our inner eyes, and we see. We see the wiles of the enemy. And so we declare. We may need to speak up or we may need to lift up our voices to God in prayer. Isaiah 52:8 reads, “Thy watchmen shall lift up the voice”. Ezekial 33:6 proclaims, “If the watchman see the sword come, and blow not the trumpet, and the people be not warned…” It is our job to be watchwomen. It is our job to declare what we see. It is our job to lift up our voice. It is our job to blow the trumpet of warning. 1 COR 14:8 says, "If the trumpet does not sound a clear call, who will get ready for battle?"
Genesis 3:24 says that God placed Cherubims at the east of the garden of Eden to “keep” the way of the tree of life. The Hebrew word for keep here is “shamar” and it means “to guard, keep, watch, protect, observe, have charge of.” In fact, “shamar” was also used to describe the man’s calling when he was put in the garden to “keep” it (Genesis 2:15). Men and women both were created to keep/watch/guard the world which we were given dominion of. A woman is no more commanded to clean and care for a home than a man is commanded to become a gardener! That is not what “keep” in “keeper at home” is about. It is about carefully guarding whatever God puts in your charge. It is about ruling the earth, fighting the enemy, and overcoming evil as the warriors we were meant to be. Men and women are to keep the world alongside one another.
That said, women are made in the image of God as females. And as females we are generally more relational and nurturing than men. These feminine attributes, along with womanly intuition, equip watchwomen to successfully guard their families. Cleaning a house, sewing, cooking, and all other household tasks are human work, not women's work. Of course if the father is working full time outside of the home and the mother is a full time stay at home mom, she will be responsible for most of the household tasks. But the point is that women are not commanded to clean and cook in the admonishment to "keep" their homes. They are commanded to watch, guard and protect their families. This is a warring word. We are Watchwomen!
2) A is for Arrows:
Psalm 127:4 says, "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth." Mothers, we are warriors. Romans 12:21 tells us to overcome evil with good. Overcome means conquer and come out victorious. It involves fighting and winning the fight. Furthermore, we are told to fight the good fight of faith (1 Timothy 6:12) and wage the good warfare. (1 Timothy 1:18) Wage means to fight, to be a soldier. 2 Timothy 2:3 confirms that we are to be “good soldiers of Jesus Christ.” Verse 4 goes on to say, “And as Christ’s soldier, do not let yourself become tied up in the affairs of this life, for then you cannot satisfy the one who has enlisted you in His army.” It is the devil that we are fighting. We are told to resist him, or set ourselves against him. He is our adversary, our enemy in this battle. (1 Peter 5:8-9) 2 Corinthians 10:4 says, “We use God’s mighty weapons…to knock down the Devil’s strongholds.” We are to put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:11a), which is the armor of light (Romans 13:12).
The scriptures above show us that mothers are also warriors in God's army. But if this fact is not clear with them alone, we see that God spoke specifically to women in the call to be warriors when He told us to be watchwomen and when He called us ezers and "virtuous" or "valiant" wives (as we will see below). Our children are our arrows. They are part of the battle. You don't fight for your arrows but with them. Children don't need to grow up before they can impact the Kingdom of God.
3) V is for Valor or Valiant:
Proverbs 31:10 speaks of the "virtuous" wife that we all desire to be like. I always took this word to mean good character, but it really means so much more than that. When the KJV of the Bible was written, virtue had a meaning that is no longer common today. We see this in Mark 5:30, where it says that "virtue had gone out of" Jesus when the woman touched him. How can virtue go out of someone? Well, back then virtue meant power and strength. So can we apply the way virtue is used in the NT for the OT word describing a wife? Is she a powerful, strong woman? Well, this is actually very interesting because the Hebrew word translated as virtuous in Prov 31:10 is only translated as such when it refers to a woman (in Proverbs 31, Proverbs 12:4 and Ruth 3:11). The rest of the time, when it refers to one man, it is usually translated as man of valor/power/might/strength or valiant man. So why, when speaking of a woman, is the word virtuous used?
The Septuagint was the Greek translation of the OT Hebrew. It was the Bible of the early Christians. In it, Ruth 3:11 is translated as "Thou art a woman of power". Today, the Douay-Rheims Bible translates Proverbs 31:10 as "Who shall find a valiant woman? far and from the uttermost coasts is the price of her." Furthermore, there is a Hebrew song about this woman in proverbs 31, called "Woman of Valor". Wikipedia says that, "Traditionally it has been translated "virtuous" or "noble." Some scholars have suggested that it rather means "forceful," "mighty," or "valiant" because the use of the word in the Tanakh is almost exclusively used regarding warfare."
The Hebrew word translated as "virtuous" was translated as "army" 56 out of 243 times (it was translated as man of valor 37 times, host 29 times, forces 14 times, valiant 13 times, etc...including the usage of the words power and might). So is there any further proof that its' meaning in Proverbs 31 is more than just noble? Indeed, the rest of the chapter is alive with military language.
Barabara J. Yoder wrote in her book God’s Bold Call To Women, "Did you know that the word “virtuous” spoken of in Proverbs 31:10 is a warring word? The virtuous woman is a warrior woman. She is strong, able, forceful and powerful; she is one who is willing to go to battle. In the Hebrew language, the word “virtuous” actually pictures her as one single woman coming with the strength of an army." After stating that this woman of valor, this strong, powerful and valiant woman is worth much more than rubies, verse 11 continues the military imagery through the use of the word spoil: "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil." What is spoil? Those were the riches gained through war! Yes, war!!! She is a valiant woman who is spiritually as strong as an army, after all. Then verse 12 says, "She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." His wife is his ally in this war. They fight alongside one another.
Verse 17 says that this woman of valor "girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms." The word for arms here does not merely mean physical arms. One meaning is "forces (political and military)." Even more profound is the meaning of strengthen. What does it mean to strengthen your arms? Is it working out and strength training? Well, to strengthen means "to be strong, alert, courageous, brave, stout, bold..." and "to be determined, to make oneself alert". Yes, a soldier in God's army needs to be courageous and brave and bold. And a watchwomen needs to be alert in order to properly watch, or guard her family.
Proverbs 31:21 calls a woman of valor fearless. And verse 25 says that strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in the time to come. The word for rejoice actually carries the idea of laughing mockingly. Who is the recipient of this mocking do you think? Of course the devil! She laughs because she has victory (that's why her husband has no lack of spoil- they won the war and so won all the booty of it). Go ahead and laugh at Satan. He has already lost. Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!
4) E is for Ezer:
At the dawn of creation, God said that it was not good for man to be alone. He knew that man needed a helper, and this is where woman came in: as the helper. What does this mean to women today? Are women created to be assistants to men as they battle and subdue and rule? The Hebrew word for help in Genesis 2:18 and 20 is “ezer”. It is used 21 times in the Old Testament. Twice for the woman, three times regarding military allies and 16 times speaking of God as our helper. Yes, GOD is a helper. Surely He does not play the part of an assistant when He helps us. Nor are military allies mere assistants. Therefore, we can conclude that when the same word is used to describe a woman, the help she brings is vital, warring type help, not assisting help. Furthermore, every time ezer is used in reference to God’s help to us, it is used within the context of fighting and enemies, surrounded by words such as deliver, save, shield, rescue, protect and enemy.
Listen to what Carolyn Custis James wrote in her book When Life and Beliefs Collide, "Checking the math, in nineteen of the twenty-one times that ezer appears in the Bible, and in nearly 100 percent of the uses of the verb form, there is an overwhelming military connotation. But for some strange reason, when the same word refers to a woman, we end up talking about making babies, submission, and cleaning house." By helper, God meant that woman would be an ally to man, standing side by side with him, fighting battles and expanding God’s kingdom on earth. Carolyn also wrote, "Earth has always been a war zone. Even before people inhabited the world, the enemy was on the move. So it makes perfect sense that God used military language to mobilize Eve into action…Adam couldn’t fight these battles alone."
One of the translations of "ezer" is succour, a word that means help in time of difficulty. Taking this into consideration, along with the fact that ezer was used to describe military allies or God Himself in the context of helping by protecting, rescuing, shielding and fighting battles with our enemy, it is clear that the help of an ezer is warring help. All females were created to be ezers, not just wives and mothers. Females were created to subdue and rule the earth alongside males. We are allies. Your daughters are ezers too. Teach them what it means to be an ezer.
I think it is also interesting two ways the word "helper" is used in the NT. First, as we all know, the Holy Spirit is called "the Helper" in the Gospels. Second, Romans 16:2 speaks of Phoebe being a "helper of many". The KJV translates it as a "succourer of many" (remember that word, succour?) The Greek word describing Phoebe here actually means "a woman set over others; female guardian, protectress." I love that: protectress. You are a protectress, mom. You are a female guardian, a watchwoman, a helper! The Amplified translation says of Phoebe, "she has been a helper of many including myself [shielding us from suffering]." There's that word "shield", just as it was used in the OT in the context of how God is our Helper.
So....are you a WAVE mother? Are you watching, guarding and protecting your children? Are you keeping an eye on everyone in your household so that your motherly intuition can aid you in being the "one who sees the enemy"? Are you declaring what you see and lifting up your voice? Are you fighting with your arrows, training them how to oppose the devil? Does your family have no lack of spoil because you walk in the victory Christ won for you? Are you strengthening your arms, becoming more alert, courageous, brave and bold as the years pass? Are you allowing God to transform you into a valiant, powerful woman of valor, fighting spiritual battles with fearless determination? Are you helping your husband shield, protect and rescue your children from the wiles of the enemy?
Are you a Protectress? That's what a Watchwoman is. That's what a Woman of Valor is. That's what an Ezer is.
This blog is devoted to all my fellow WAVE Mothers who are raising ezers of the tween and teen ages; daughters who need their moms to watch them, guard them, protect them, help them and shield them. Our daughters need to look at us and see examples of brave, bold, powerful, and valiant Women of God. They need us to tell them who they are; that God created them to be Ezers. They need us to train them to fight the good fight as the arrows they are.
This transition from girlhood to womanhood is a precious, beautiful time for our daughters. We will hold their hand and walk them through the transformation with full confidence of the women they will be at the end. We rejoice in the time to come because we have the victory! As Fern Nichols wrote about the author in the book Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl, "We must support one another, and Dannah issues a joint battle cry! She cries out along with me, 'Satan, you cannot have our girls!"
I love this drawing called "Queen Susan the Gentle" by Kate Jennings (from the book/movie The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe- a must read/see for your daughters (and sons). Here is a woman who is an Ezer. She is a Woman of Valor. She has her arrows and her horn (she is a Watchwoman who blows the horn when necessary).
"Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning Satan shudders and says, “Oh, No….She’s Awake!”- unknown
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