Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl

I just finished this gem of a book a few days ago.   It's a great resource of ideas and encouragement for WAVE mothers of 8-12 year olds.  Notice the title?  "Keep" the little in your girl...that means to protect and guard that part of her.  Read my first post here if you haven't yet: What is a WAVE Mother?  What is an Ezer?

Founder of Moms in Touch International, Fern Nichols, wrote about the book, "We must support one another, and Dannah issues a joint battle cry!  She cries out along with me, "Satan, you cannot have our girls!" Dannah Gresh herself, the author of this treasure, wrote, "In this book, I hope to encourage you in the act of re-stacking your claim in your daughter so she can grow up to be a strong, whole, pure and healthy teen girl".

After reading this book, you will have an understanding of the brain development of tween girls, and just how important it is to form their values on the issues of modesty, boys, sex, etc before they become teenagers. The tween years are the value formation years.  This is when values will be set in a girl's brain; values she will act on as a teen.  It is vital that we connect with our daughters in order to pass on healthy values.   Dannah has included a connection IQ quiz as a tool for mothers to become aware of where their relationship with their daughters stand.  The quiz opened my eyes to some ways I can better connect with my daughter and inspired me to take action.  In another post, I will list some ideas for mother/daughter dates that I have gleaned from searching the internet.

I love this quote from Dannah: "So the question for you now - in her tweens - is not "Should I talk to her about boys, and sex, and periods, and other stuff that scares me silly?"  The question is "How do I talk to her about boys, and sex, and periods, and other stuff that scares me silly?"  without robbing her of her innocence?"  What a great point Dannah makes!  I think that is what many mothers are afraid of: that if we raise these issues with our daughters too early, we will rob them of that girlhood innocence.  Well, rest assured, Dannah does a fantastic job of providing you with ideas and words that are gentle, but do the job.

You will learn about the importance of role play even during the tween years.  Has your daughter seemed to lose interest in such creative play?  Dannah shares three ideas on how to encourage her to play roles in unconventional ways. Such play is directly linked to that value formation that is vital at this time in her life.  Wonderful information on the selection of age-appropriate, wholesome dolls is shared, along with which dolls have been proven to be harmful to tween girls and why!

There is a chapter that discusses how to approach the topic of menstruation with your daughter; here you will find ideas on stories you can share with her, scriptures to use, a special basket you may want to put together, and a specific DVD is recommended.  Other chapters provide information on protecting your tween girl from negative media effects that can rob her of innocence, ways to make your daughter's inner beauty her focus, and fun activities you can do to form her values on modesty.  Dannah includes ideas to help mothers better know the friends their daughters are spending time with, shift a girl's focus away from boys to her future husband, and even some dating suggestions (for when she is older of course!)

The part that I actually found the most shocking - and encouraging - was when Dannah wrote about discussing sex with girls this young.  Honestly, I knew that I would bring up the topic of menstruation soon, but I hadn't thought much about telling my girl about sex.  I guess I figured that could wait till she's 13 or so!  But Dannah encourages mothers to discuss said issue with their daughters by the time they are 9, and she explains why.  She actually suggests specific words to say, and I think I have found those words to be the most inspiring and confidence building advice from all the great thoughts in this book!  The words are gentle and beautiful, but direct and honest.  What a gem:)

I am so glad that I read this book.  I am excited to read more books from Dannah Gresh in the next few months, books that provide ideas and resources for dates and devotionals with my daughter.  After reading Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl, I feel much more confident to walk this journey with my daughter in a beautiful, fun and connecting way!